If i come over, it means nothing
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize