Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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