he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
