New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
