He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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