Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
