i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
