i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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