sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
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We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
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I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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