So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
