Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
