i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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