What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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