I don't usually arrange sex via text message
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize