just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
My vagina just clenched in fear
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
