I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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