someone get that fucking seahorse.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
