I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize