You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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