the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
