It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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