She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
