just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
