after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
