and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize