I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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