Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
