all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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