am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
