dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
