Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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