His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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