She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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