I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
