its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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