i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
