I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
