Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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