i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
