just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
