so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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