My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
