it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
