On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
