these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
