his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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