you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
