I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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