Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
