Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
