i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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