You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
