You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize