there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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