don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
