I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
