But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
