??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize