i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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