Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
