i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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