Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
