I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
