Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
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Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
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Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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